Chapter 19

Javelin and I met at the lake. The night air was cool for late June and it had a faint blueberry smell to it. We sat by the lake on one of the logs that Kayla and I sat when she and I had our last chat. I knew I should call her and see how she’s coping with Eva, but all my time was devoured by Javelin.

We hadn’t had sex yet, but there were a few close calls, where one or the other would come to our senses and stop. We would sit a few feet apart, looking at each other and laughing at how disheveled our appearances were. But of us knowing the danger of unprotected sex, and happy that our lust hadn’t driven us to forget it.

Tonight was no different. I was the one to breakaway from his deep kisses when he had my bra unhooked and my skirt up to my waist, his fingers working magic. “We’ve got to stop for a while,” I said.

“Why? You want me as much as I want you, V.” His voice held a touch of tortured anguish.
“Javelin, we don’t have protection. I could get pregnant and ...I’m not ready.” I said, putting my appearance back in order.

“When will you be ready? Hell, how am I going to know? I thought you were ready a few minutes ago.” He reached in his jeans for some gum. When I said I hated his cigarettes, he switched to gum. Mavis told me that was a sign of true love. I have to agree.

Before I could reply, he said, “This has to do with Eva and me. I keep waiting for you to ask questions and you haven’t.”

There were questions I wanted to ask, but when I was with him I forgot them. They weren’t nagging questions. I have my past with Trent and Javelin has his past with Eva and others. None of it mattered when we were together.

“I’ve always felt that if you wanted to talk about her, you would.” I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know.

“Okay, this one time and then it’s done.” He stared at the moon’s distorted reflection in the lake. “My mother died when I was fourteen. Dad and I took it pretty hard. She was our mediator, kept us from ripping each other up. I love my Dad and I’m proud of what he’s done for our country, but I don’t like my Dad. He’s hard. Thinks I should think like he does.”

“How did your mother die?” I asked, instinctively sliding close to him and rubbing his back as he talked.

“Complications from a gall bladder operation. It was sudden. We weren’t prepared for her death.” I kissed his cheek. Then he continued, “I fell in with a gang of boys. We called ourselves the South Miami Cocks and we terrorized the neighborhood. After a big fight with another gang, I got hurt badly.” He stood up and pulled down his jeans to show me a jagged scar running down his hip. “Spent a few days in the hospital. Dad thought that I should get away from Miami for a while. So he sent me here, to stay with Grandfather all summer. That’s how I met Eva."

“I’m amazed that you and I never met each other. But Mother usually keeps me busy with blueberries. I guess that’s why I never saw you around when you were here.”

“Could be. But you were Trent’s girl. I bet he made sure you didn’t met me. He probably thought I would try to steal you away.” Javelin grinned at me and I laughed. “Think that could have happened?”

“V., ever since I talked to Eva that day, you know what I’m talking about because you were hiding in the magnolia tree.’ I blushed and said “Yes.”

He continued, “I’ve been thinking about that summer. Grandfather was in better health then. He spent a lot of time doing things away from the house. None of the guys in town would have much to do with me. Trent had then all on a tight leash. I spent a lot of my time by the pool or in my room reading, when I wasn’t sitting around missing my Mom. You would have loved her, she was sweet and gentle. Just like you.”

For a while, he didn’t speak. I knew he was thinking about his Mother. I sat quietly, waiting. “Eva’s mom was one of the maids. She brought Eva with her on certain days. I remember being in my room and Eva came in with a feather duster. It was yellow. Strange, the things you can remember. She sat on the bed and we talked for a long time about music, movies; hell you name it, we discussed it.” He turned to face me, as he continued. “Now you’re beautiful. In fact, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met--inside and out. But Eva with her long legs and that blonde hair, she was the embodiment of sex appeal. I never made a move on her. She was the one to instigated the sex. Once I had a taste of it, it was all I wanted. One day, another maid walked in on us having sex. She told Grandfather and he fired Eva’s mother. Not long after that, I was sent back to Miami. I haven’t had sex with her since. That’s the truth.”

I said, “Thanks for telling me all this. But it doesn’t matter. I believe in now, not then.” He kissed me. “So, how will I know when you’re ready?”

“I’ll wear my hair down,” I said with a grin.

He laughed. “That’ll work.” Neither of us said anything for a while. We held each other, breathing in the blueberry fragrance of night. I thought of something Eva had said to him that day.

“Javelin, Eva said you weren’t her first. Remember?”

He said, “Yes, that’s prayed on my mind. She knew more than I did about sex but I passed that off as feminine intuition, whatever that is.”

“Have there been many women, Javelin?” I hadn’t meant to ask that question. It came out on its own.

“I won’t lie. There’s been a few. But there isn’t now. I don’t want other women, Blueberry Girl. I want you.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I love you,” he said. I almost didn’t hear it. My heart sang so loud I couldn’t hear the night creatures make their music.

“You do? I... I love you, too.” We kissed tenderly, as if afraid we would break our love with passion, because love is like that--fragile and delicate enough to break under the pressure of mad passion.